I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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