well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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