I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
