So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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