This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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