i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
