i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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