yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm both gender and math confused
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
