Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
