There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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