I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
