Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize