I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
