I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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