WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Couch. On fire.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize