I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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