Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
