Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i would punch a child for taco bell
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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