I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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