I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
We were destined to go to rehab together
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
