Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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