I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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