Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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