You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
