Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
