Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm passing your future prison.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Randomize
