i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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