im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
