I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
