my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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