God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I enjoy the company of your penis
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
