The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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