We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You pole danced in your parka.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
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