I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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