yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
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