OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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