They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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