Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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