i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize