I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
