I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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