I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
