I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
