Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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