Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
