my sisters under your porch take her home
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she smelled like a LAN party
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
