I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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