They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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