handjob tips. give me some.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
