So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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