Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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