I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
