you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
