its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
