If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
