How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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