we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize