it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
